Get To Sea If You Need To Get To Sea.

whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can

 --Herman Melville

 

--Elliot Smith

Best Scenes From Arrested Development

In honor of the coming episodes I decided to build a channel with the hopes that all of you would submit your favorite moments from one of the funniest shows ever--a show a failed to watch until recently and have no idea how I could have been so stubborn all these years. Here is my favorite scene. I apologize for the quality, it was all I could find.

What are your favorite scenes? I built a YouTube Channel and will add them as you submit them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R9zN7o_s2Y&list=PLMqcfLnF2cbGbprGDpadmT7KGsaLpImN-&feature=mh_lolz

Fillmack Mountain

jody and I have gone vegan and the other night was my night to do some cooking. I decided to go with a southern bunstonian dish from the eastern regions where Fillmack the philosopher first received the the Chubby Sea Scrolls from The Great Wisbee. The name of the dish is Fillmack Mountain after the mountain Fillmack went to. 

It will make you sweat.

it is a moutain.

It is vegan.

Go.

Fillmack Mountain: It is vegan and oh so Bunstin!

8 Reasons Why Hurricanes Are Not So Bad, But Not As Good As Bacon

 

  1. Hurricanes make you clean out your basement
  2. Hurricanes give you a reason to make a list
  3. Hurricanes are big on top, small on the bottom. Many heterosexual men like this—if you are reading this and you are a heterosexual female this may not be a good thing but remember the saying about the motion of the ocean. Hurricanes create motion in the ocean—need I say more?
  4. Hurricanes are conical, like an ice cream cone...you like ice cream, right?
  5. Cane is over 50% of the word, Hurrican. Sugar CANE is used to make Chunky bars and the best character from the movie the Goonies was named Chunk (fact)—if it were not for Hurricanes, none of that would be possible.
  6. Hurricane spelled backwards is enacirruh and if you look only at every other letter in the word, there is only one consonant. This is not a coincidence; this was done for you alone.
  7. Hurricanes give social media people something to talk about other than just social media : http://mashable.com/2011/08/24/hurricane-irene-facebook/
  8. Hurricanes help you reach the source of all perfection, or kemal. This is sought through abandoning one's nafs, egos or personal desires, by listening to the music, focusing on God, and spinning one's body in repetitive circles, which has been seen as a symbolic imitation of planets in the Solar System orbiting the sun 

Bacon is better than everything above. 

Time on the L Train

In the context of all time

Today, time moves slower.

 

One. Two..a train in time-

To what, without a piece of time.

 

In the context of my hands, time.

Intake time like confetti of the mind.

Showers out like tears, time.

 

Is this thing on. One. One, two.

Test. Test the train of time.

Ride it and slide like sweat dripping off a daisy.

You have time.

You have it, had it, will have it again.

 

You wait for time; pray to its circular representative on earth.

You swear by it.

Snort and shoot at time.

 

Take a minute and weave time's hammock.

Take a nap, slap time in the fate.

 

Taste it.

Lip smack.

 

The 15 letters that came before this =equal desire.

Desire and destination--

You rock the nation, wrapped in foil.

Steel slit in time.

Unwrap the foil and clench your freedom.

Toss it, score.

A point in time.

Take mine.

Mind your own--in a zone;

A prairie on the hill-

A bucket of ice cream.

 

Scream at time and lose.

Every time...lose.

Spoonful O' Cliche

What doesn't inspire

makes it longer.

 

What doesn't move you

mimics you.

 

You are no mime.

 

Don't stop

Just because the sun melted your frozen eyeballs, 

Leaving you bland and soupy.

Swishing around slowly

but not so fast that some splashes over the edge.

 

Pick up a spoon,

Make a paddle

And paddle.

 

Pick up a spoon, dog.

Pick it up or be swallowed into the binary abyss--

Of cliched dreams

(including that one...and the next). 

Dragon Bits (ten minutes of unedited brain dump)

Slay the dragon—oh, wretched dragon!

Who consistently uploads diseased memory of a time when things were pure. 

Untainted. Without “technology”, the familial dragon recalls a time when humans acted in accordance with nature,  

and murder was carried out with honor, 

and the strong breathed fire. 

 

The motley journalists drank cups of similitude 

While those who did not…no, could not know, licked pudding from fingertips. 

 

Tools of the trade: 

A pen and a piece of opinion. 

Just enough nothing, so nothing could be dishonest. 

 

“The heart of your work will be lost in a hard drive crash,” said the three-piece suite to the pale-faced freak. 

Then a dark night shone. 

Then silence. 

Boot up. 

Navigate. 

Blog and be blogged. 

Stick a twitter up your ass. 

Converse. 

Freedom is another word for too much information. 

Put that in your hashtag and smoke it.