8 Reasons Why Hurricanes Are Not So Bad, But Not As Good As Bacon


  1. Hurricanes make you clean out your basement
  2. Hurricanes give you a reason to make a list
  3. Hurricanes are big on top, small on the bottom. Many heterosexual men like this—if you are reading this and you are a heterosexual female this may not be a good thing but remember the saying about the motion of the ocean. Hurricanes create motion in the ocean—need I say more?
  4. Hurricanes are conical, like an ice cream cone...you like ice cream, right?
  5. Cane is over 50% of the word, Hurrican. Sugar CANE is used to make Chunky bars and the best character from the movie the Goonies was named Chunk (fact)—if it were not for Hurricanes, none of that would be possible.
  6. Hurricane spelled backwards is enacirruh and if you look only at every other letter in the word, there is only one consonant. This is not a coincidence; this was done for you alone.
  7. Hurricanes give social media people something to talk about other than just social media : http://mashable.com/2011/08/24/hurricane-irene-facebook/
  8. Hurricanes help you reach the source of all perfection, or kemal. This is sought through abandoning one's nafs, egos or personal desires, by listening to the music, focusing on God, and spinning one's body in repetitive circles, which has been seen as a symbolic imitation of planets in the Solar System orbiting the sun 

Bacon is better than everything above.